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Thursday, March 31, 2011


Why is waiting so hard!? I am NOT a patient person at all! I long for a baby in my arms, and yet I wait, and wait some more.
Hopefully one day soon. I get so hopeful that maybe this month is the month, and I get excited, but just for a moment then my excitment is clouded with the sadness of knowing that just because I get pregnant doesn't mean I will keep my baby in my belly. The possiblity of of another Angel baby is such a real thing, I know I know stay positive, but please tell me how.

On a more positive note, 58 days till we cruise!!! Oh I cannot wait, the joys of cruising are endless!

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Let the river flow....

no really....... af is here, time to cry that I am not pg, but time to rejoice that my body is finally normal and I can start TTC in just 8 more days! EEKK!! How exciting right!?

I have to be so thankful, I follow a blog, (you can find it in the upper right corner of my page) this dear woman lost her baby girl to SIDs, my heart breaks for her, I have to be thankful that while I am sad about TTC I am not living her nightmare, life can always be worse. For all of us wallowing in self pity stop and embrace the ones you love the most, because you are BLESSED.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Time to Heal

A time to mourn, a time to cry, a time to heal. I am finally at healing. Through grace and mearcy of the Lord Jesus my heart is beiong patched back together piece by piece. I finally feel like me again, my HPTs are finally negative, and the bleeding is over. After 14 weeks of pure torment everytime I peed, the torment has ended. My eyes cannot cry anymore tears and my heart cannot take another ache right now, it is time to LIVE. My darling angels in heaven now bring a small smile to my face, knowing I will hold them when I get there is healing. My husband has been such a rock and so wonderful to me and I cherish every moment with him and our daughter. There have been so many deaths around me lately, lives that are cut so short for one reason or another. Life ends in the blink of an eye and I will never again take either of them for granted. Life is good and I shall live it to the very fullest I can while I am here.

And as I write this a new little life is on its way into the world, my dear friend Julie is giving birth today after miscarriages and trials of her own and today is a day of a great big very tiny miracle. GOD IS GOOD.