My Blog List

Monday, December 23, 2013

Dear Stay at Home Mom

Dear stay at home mom,
I am the sister and friend of many stay at home moms, all of whom I love dearly. I understand how hard it is, I know that you look at working away from home moms and envy us at times because we get out of the house, we dress up, we get adult interaction, we can stop in the store for milk on our way home without a child or five.  I also see and know how proud you are to stay at home, how that is your hearts desire, how much you love and adore your children, I see the great satisfaction it brings you to take care of your children and be with them all the time. Us working moms know these things we see it.
Here is a little insight into the working mom, and please note when I say working mom I mean a mom who works away from home, I know stay at home moms work really hard too! We do get out of the house, that is true. We drop our children off with a daycare and we hope and pray all day long that the person caring for our children is good to them. For me we prayed about it and without even trying God brought us a most precious couple to keep Jaxon, they love him so. And of course Cheyenne is in school. Anyway, we drop our babies off, and we miss them, terribly, in fact at times we envy YOU because you get to have your babies all day long! You don't know how our hearts feel when we leave our children, we literally leave our hearts behind and go half empty to work at that job that fulfills another part of our being. Dressing up, this one is quite a hoot, I can count on one hand the amount of times I have shown up at work clean!  I always find snot on my shirt, or oatmeal, milk, you name it. I generally have a pacifier in my pocket, which my students think is funny when I discover it and pull it out. My hair is never perfect, I have kids in the bathroom with me in the morning and sometimes I find I've put my underwear on backwards or a shirt inside out. We envy you, the mom who can stay in her PJs all day if there is no where to go. We do get to interact with adults, but let me tell you, adults are worse then talking to kids all day. Most of them are over grown babies. That is just reality. Not to mention the boss that we have to please, and in my line of work I spend my day pleasing parents, the state, the district, kids, co-workers, a boss and so forth.
When I get off work getting milk without a child is not a pleasure, in fact I rush through it as fast as I can because I cannot wait to hold my children. When I get home I make supper for my family, we eat out rarely, usually only on birthdays or if we are out of town. I cook food every night generally from scratch, hardly ever out of a box. I do homework with my daughter, I get things ready for the next day and make lunches for everyone to take. I too have the responsibility to go to the grocery store and run errands. I am blessed to have a husband that helps out and allows me to shop without my children if I desire. I go during nap time on Saturdays Or early in the morning before the children rise. We make a family trip out of going to SAMs Club. I say this to say, we are tired too! We understand!
The main purpose of this letter is to tell you that we get it, we understand that you need a break sometimes. but we cannot read your minds! If you need a break, or a date with your husband ASK us to watch your kids! We don't stay home all day but we are still mothers and we can keep your child alive and have fun with them while you are gone. Maybe you are to proud to ask, so let me ask you this, what does the Word say about pride? It doesn't mean you are a failure to ask for help or for some adult company or for a date babysitter! If I am your friend, then I love your kids! As a working mom I get the need for a break, I have had a date with my husband one time this year, ONCE. We are just as busy, we have tons of family time, we do not do extra curricular activities because we cherish our family time. I would be soooo happy to trade you date nights, taking turns with each other's kiddos. Please don't wait for us to offer, because chances are we never will, not because we don't care but because we assume everything is great and you have grandparents or other people giving you a break.  Just ASK. Ask us, tell us you need a break and we will be there. We have your back.
To sum this up into the main point is this, no matter if we stay at home or work we should all have each  others back in this thing called motherhood. We are in this together, no matter how we choose to go about doing it and we need to learn to be honest and ask for help, share our help, and encourage one another. Stay at home mom, send a working mom a note of encouragement, we need it too. Working moms, likewise, send a stay at home mom a note of encouragement, she needs it.


  1. A great post, thanks. I just love the two last sentences! Having been a working infertile, a stay home mom (for nearly three years altogether) and now a working mom there are a lot of view points and feelings blending on this end of the internet.

  2. I've been a SAHM for the past 10 months and am heading back to work in the new year ... I've enjoyed mostly every minute being at home with my daughter, but I have needed breaks now and again (even in the best job, a person needs a coffee break right?!). I laughed when I read about the snot on your clothes and the backwards underwear ... I'm sure that I'll be right there with you when it's my turn to return to work!

  3. I'm praying blessings over you as you return to work. May you be full of peace and the transition easy!

  4. I have been a SAHM for two years now yet I still feel guilty for saying to my husband who works sometimes 65 hour weeks that "Hey I need a break" In some ways I can't wait to go back to work when Isaac starts school, but at the same time dread it :(

  5. Don't feel guilty! We all need a break! Even God rested on day 7!
    Seriously. As working parents we get breaks at work here and there and we ask for help when we need it. The same should go for SAHMs! Your job never ends. Look at it this way, a break for you means a much happier healthier wife and mommy. Don't feel guilty about resting in order to be better!!